tiffers

2nd day of the diet. Being on WW has made me realized how much food I have been eating without paying any attention. Yesterday my goal was to eat 23 points and that is exactly what I had. I went to bed very hungry and had a hard time falling to sleep. It reminded me of the days when I was anorexic and didn’t sleep much at all. But now I am eating, just not very much. I know that my body wil get used to it in a couple days, I just have to get used to it. I went to the gym yesterday and did an hour on the eliptical with the resistance at 8 (722 calories burnt) and some ab work. I know that I can add some points for that but I didn’t. I didn’t work out last time I did WW and still lost weight, but I have been working out consistantly for the last 5 months so I am just going to keep doing it. Right now I am watching the travel channel and I wish that I was in Hawaii right now. I really want to go somewhere warm for graduation and this is one of the reasong that I need to lose weight, so that I can look good in my suimsuit. The gym is closed today and I really want to walk my dog, but it is so cold outside. We will see if that happens.

School starts tomorrow! This is my last semester but I know that it is going to be really stressfull. Hopefully I can keep it all together and not let all the stress deter me from what I really want. Graduation is 16 weeks away. My goal is to lose 30 lbs by then which would put me in the 150’s which I haven’t been for about 8 years. that would put me in a size 7-8 or atleast it did last time. I have tons of clothes in that size, but chances are I will want to buy all new ones if I actually hit that size.

Today was a busy day, but lately all of them have been lately so I should be getting used to it by now.  I got up at 5 today to finish reading the chapters that I was supposed to read last night.  Then I went to class from 8-3 and forgot to bring anythin to eat, so I stoped and got some coffee on my way and didn’t eat all day.  I was pretty tired after class, but wanted to go shopping for a few because I wasn’t going to go to the gym until 5.  I went to ross’ because I hadn’t been there for a while and then I remembered why.  Kids and people everywhere, plus I had to pee really bad, but when I went into the bathroom it was disqusting.  two of the stalls weren’t working and the 3rd had pee all over the seat, so I had to leave.  uggh.  Then it was time to go to the gym and when I was walking up the stairs I didn’t even want to go in.  My legs were tired from yesterday, but I went in anyways.  I did an hour on the tredmill and10 min on the bike.  I don’t ride the bike very often and it made my legs really sore.  when I worked my upper body.

After the gym I went to the grocery store and got some stuff for dinner. put some chicken and potatoes in the oven and took my dog for a quick walk, or so I thought.  When I was almost done with the walk I realized that I lost my phone out of my pocket at some point in the walk, so I turned around and backtracked.  I ended up finding when I was almost home and ended up walking almost twice as far as I had planned.  Oh well, I was just really glad that I found my phone.  By the time I got home the dinner was burnt, so once again I didn’t have anything to eat and hadn’t eated anything all day and now it was 8:30.  Had an apple and some grapes and carrots and ranch dressing.  Kind of a weird combination, but I really hate to cook and was pretty tired and annoyed that I ruined the food.  My dog was pretty happy about the walk and the chicken that she got to eat, so atleast one of us was happy.  Tomorrow I am definately packing something to eat for lunch.

I am so ready for the summer to be here!  Yesterday I bought some new board shorts, they are so cute and I cant wait to wear them this summer.  I wish what I was wearing them with a two piece, but I don’t think that I will be wearing one this summer.  I have now lost 7 pounds, but I have been working out at least 5 days a week for about 3 months, so 7 lbs isn’t really that much. Today I am really sore from the gym and I sat in the hot tub after I was done working out, but I still feel really sore.  I still feel really good about going to the gym even though I am not losing that much weight.  It makes me feel better afterward and feels good to do something good for myself, something just for me.  I think that I need to write down everything that I eat again cause I haven’t done that much since school started.  I jsut have so many things to write and do that I don’t even think about writing food down.  I guess I need to decide what I really want.  What I really want is to lose weight, I just need to remind myself that everytime I am going to eat something.  Maybe that will help.

So I went to the gym today for the first time in over a week.  Like everyone else I know I started to get really sick last thursday and was really sick for the whole week.  Every night I thought that I was either going to accidentally overdose on cold and cough medicine or cough my lungs up.  To top it all off, I had 4 tests to take in 4 days, and had to deal with patients calling  and cancelling at the last minute, or not call or show up at all.  Oh, I can’t wait until I can just go to work and don’t have to worry if people make it to their appointments or not.  Anyways, it felt good to go to the gym and I felt even better after.  Plus it was actually nice outside today and it was a nice little reminder that summer will soon be on it’s way.  I can’t wait.  Hopefully I will be able to lose some weight before then, but even if I don’t I still like the warm weather better than the freezing cold.

I have soooo much homework to do and yet I am sitting here on the internet.  I am actually really tired and sore from the gym.  Usually when I get home from the gym I have tons of energy, but not tonight for some reason.  I was in clinic all day today and then I went to the gym and did some cardio and then went to body pump and then did more cardio.  I also have to make some rice crispy treats for class tomorrow and I have been putting that off also.  I love rice crispy treats, you know the homemade ones, not the stuff from the store.  Still have to write 2 papers, apply for financial aid, do my taxes…. the list goes on and on. I still haven’t lost anymore weight and I am getting kind of frustrated about that.  I guess I better get off the computer and do something else.

For the past 2 months I have paid very close attention to what I have been eating.  This has been pretty hard for me because I have a tendancy to either eat anything I want or nothing at all.  I have really been doing well, I cant say that I haven’t had any snacks, but I’ll just have something small, and I haven’t been eating out at all.  Not today though.  I woke up late today and had to hurry to get to campus to take an exam, so I just got my coffee and left without packing anything for breakfast or lunch.  I didn’t eat anything until around noon and then I had a handful of m&m’s (I think they were mint flavored, I didn’t really like them, but ate them anyways), then I had a snack size trail mix that was in my backpack, and just before writing this I had 2 cinnamon hearts.  I don’t really feel that bad cause it probably only adds up to a few hundred calories, but I didn’t even think about the things that I was putting in my mouth and that is really the problem here.  I don’t really feel that good, probably all the sugar that my body isn’t used to anymore.  No more junk for me today.  I don’t really know what I am going to eat for dinner. I don’t like not having it all planned out.  Going to go to the gym in a few min. and I should make it home in time to watch the biggest loser.  This is the first season that I have watched it, but I find it pretty motivating.  What I want to know is what exactly they are eating and how much they really work out.  Mostly I want to know how some of the people on the show are able to run on the treadmill.  I think that it is awesome that they are able to do it, but most of them, from what I can tell, didn’t work out before the show and now they are running.  I have tried and I think that it is pretty difficult. 

Today started my 4th week of this semester!  It doesn’t have much to do with weight loss, except the fact that this semester has been the hardest and most stressful semester yet with no signs of easing up.  Today I got up extra early because it was supposed to snow, but it didn’t until later.  I spent 5 hours in clinic and messed up everything that I was trying to do today, so I left there totally stressed out and annoyed by all the snow.  I am not ready for swimsuit season, but I am ready for better weather.  Went to the gym and did my usual hour on the eliptical, but turned up the resistance so it was a little harder than what I have been doing.  I was sweating like crazy, but it felt good when I was done.  Then I lifted weights for about 25 min.  Still haven’t lost any weight.  I haven’t been writing everything down, but I have been keeping track everyday.  I was looking at my bank account last night and as far as I can tell I haven’t eated out for atleast 2 months.  I didn’t realize that it had been that long, so I feel pretty good about that.  I just want to lose weight.  Why wont the scale move?  uggh

I’m still at school and have tons of homework to do and still need to go to the gym.  I have spent 2 hours on the internet reading posts and looking for a deal on a laptop.  I don’t know which one to buy, so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I have soooo much homework I need to get a laptop so that I am not stuck here all day long.  I think that I am going to stop at curcuit city on my way to the gym.  Otherwise I have had a pretty uneventful day today.  I sat in class from 8 until 2.  Almost every day someone brings in snacks.  I have done really good at not eating them.  today someone brought in icecream.  I didn’t have any.  Almost everyday they make us get infront of the class and do something.  I hate it!!!  Why do they make us get in front of the class.  I am going to be a dental hygienist, not a public speaker.  I always feel so self conscience mostly when I have to read.  I have always hated being in front of the class, I think I am getting a little bit better, but not much.  Uggh I cant wait for this semester to be over.  I didn’t eat much today.  Had some coffee this morning and then a yogurt and string cheese for lunch and a granola bar for a snack.  Not really sure what I am going to eat for dinner.  I am not even sure when I am going to get to eat tonight.  Well, off to the gym.  

I went shopping yesterday and guess what is out on the racks already. Yep, swimsuits and shorts.  Uggh.  This sucks.  It is still really cold here with snow still on the ground with more still to come I am sure.  The thought of trying on short and swimsuits literally makes me sick to my stomach, but it always does so this year is not any different.  I always wait until the last possible moment to buy stuff and then I am left with little selection and then I am left with a suit that I don’t really like and am not comfortable with.  This year I am going to try to find one that I really like and if I end up losing more weight then I can buy another one later.  I just really hate trying then on in the store.  Why does the lighting have to be so unflattering?

I didn’t go to the gym today cause it is closed today and now that I think about it I am not sure if it is open tomorrow either.  I normally walk my dog on sundays, but like I said earlier it is really cold here and I feel like I am getting sick.  Yesterday I went to body pump and then did an hour on the eliptical.  Today I am pretty sore, but not as bad as when I went earlier in the week.

My old roommate ( we are not friends) was in the class and I heard her talking to one of her friends about how fat I was.  It didn’t hurt my feelings though and what she doesn’t know is that it actually motivated me more.  The truth is that I am fatter than I was when I lived with her.  I was about 5 years and 30 lbs ago.  When I lived with her she never worked out and ate whatever she wanted, but now we are 5 years older and she has to work out for her shape too.  I wasn’t surprised that she was talking about me, it just reminded me about how immature she can be.  I guess it makes her feel better about herself to make fun of other people.  One of my best friends said to me “you can always lose weight, but she will always have a shitty attitude and personality”.

I finally lost 3 pounds. yeah  Okay, so I know that 3lbs is not that much, but I have been working my but off for weeks and haven’t seen a change on the scale until today, so it was nice to see a loss.  I don’t really have much else to write about.  Been sitting in class for 6 hours now and I am starving, going to go to the gym and then make something to eat.  Hope everyone has a great night.